Robert Palmer: Doctor Doctor give me the news! Doctor: You have contracted lung cancer and AIDS. You will die before Christmas.

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What's green and has wheels? grass... i lied about the wheels

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What do you call a popular rap and hip-hop artist? Tunde

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Whats worse than losing your entire family in a car accident? Luikimia

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What did the man with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A bike

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Whats funnier than 24 ? 25

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What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

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Why wasn't the door a door? It was a jar.

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Person1: wanna hear a joke? Person2: yeah Person1: ok

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What does a penguins wear on it's feet? Nothing penguins are incapable of wearing foot wear, also they do not have feet they are called 'flippers'.

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Whats bent but straight for danielle? Joseph Plummer

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What do you do if you see a Mexican riding a bike? Say "Hello." It is polite.

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What did the lampshade say to the other lampshade? Nothing they sat in silence

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What did the tooth brush say to the toothe paste? Minorities.

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why was the kid crying his dad is a alchoholic

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A black man has just died on your porch. What do you do? Immediately call for medical assistance and perform CPR.

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How many babys does it take to paint a wall red? 7 and 24 paint brushes cause babys need do overs

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what do you get when you cross a red snugulo and a blue glurga? your on acid

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Why did the black man steal an inhaler? Because he was broke and he had asthma.

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The kid next door was running around shouting spells and carrying a wand. ''I bet you'd love to be like Harry Potter!'' I told him. ''Yes!'' he exclaimed. So I killed his parents and locked him under the stairs.

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Why did grandma drop the dish? She had a heart attack and died, falling to the ground and thus bringing the plate with her to the floor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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