the bully said, you're just small fries. the fries couldn't help it someone ordered a small!

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What was the last thing that went through the WTC jumper's head? His ankles.

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What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

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What do Selena and Justin, Kate and William, and Barack and Michelle all have in common? Nothing.

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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Why couldn't the turtle swim? Because he went too close to an oil spill, the petroleum got into his mouth and coated his lungs and he is now dead.

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What is worse than mistaking a bottle of blood for ketchup? Mistaking a bottle of "sticky white stuff" for milk... Moral: If you are a straight man that is... As for women meh... lie all you want ladies...

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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What did Billy say to Jesus when he died? Nothing he went to hell. -Austin Conradt

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Knock knock. Who's there? the police.

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How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None they would just beat the room for being black.

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What's the difference between a black man and a bench? The bench isnt going anywhere.

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How many women can fit on a bus? It depends on the size of the bus.

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A man stumbles into a bar and yells, "Let's get wa-" and falls to the floor dead. The forensic scientists preform an autopsy and find that after 15 years of achoholism and depression caused his heart to stop beating. His family may have mourned his loss, if he had not left them penniless after killing his wife.

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"I'm so hungry!" "Hello so hungry, I am Matt. You must come from a very odd family if your name is " so hungry"!

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John had 50 candy bars and he ate 45 what does he have...... Diabeaties

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Roses are bitches Violets are two, your mother is a bigger bitch then both

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Get a life besides thumbing down statements telling you advice.........

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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What do you call a fly with no wings? Disabled

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Whats grey and kills people, Terminal cancer,I lied about the grey color

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops