if you fall, I'll be there. -floor

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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A woman gets into the front seat of a car and starts driving.

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knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

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a fat man walks out of mcdonalds

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hey i just met you and this is crazy i have alzheimers hey i just met you

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Why'd the plane crash? Because the pilot was an orange.

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A cat walks into a bar. The bartender says "What would you like to drink?" The cat says "Meow."

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How did the man kill the black fly? He called the KKK fly and had it lynch the black fly

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Why couldn't the teenager go to the pirate movie? He didn't have any money.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple. What's worse than finding two worms in your apple? Being raped with a cheese grater.

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Why doesn't Julius Caesar ever use a cell phone? Because he died in 44 BC.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What did the fat man say to everyone? Hey everyone! I am i fat man!

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There was a man who entered a local paper's pun contest. He sent in ten different puns hoping that at least one of the puns would win. Unfortunately, none of them did.

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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What happens when Lord Voldemort tries to kill Harry Potter? He is unsuccessful.

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knock knock whoses there whose home whoses home who? you

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There were three men walking across the road and it started to rain

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Lil Wayne's song 6 foot 7 foot was named after my wewe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops