What rhymes with milk...milf

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What do you get when you cross an elephant with a giraffe? A really f*cked up hybrid.

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What do you tell your chicken when it is it's birthday. Nothing, because he wouldn't understand you.

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What's brown and sticky? Feces.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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Whats worse than getting raped by a cow? Getting raped by two cows.

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so a man walks into a bar..... and says ouch.

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Why was the man hit by the car? Hellen Keller was driving.

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How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

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What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

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Man :A homo-sexual panda walks into a gay bar. Homo-sexual Panda : Wait...wait I'm gonna stop you right there. I will not take part in this odd joke, so just ummmmmm ya. And another thing, my species is extremely offended by your inferior remarks. Why can't homosexual panda just have piece?

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What do you say if you see a floating TV at night? Wow a floating TV. It's amazing how far technology has progressed throughout the years.

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Q.What do you call a friend with benefits? A. a buck fuddy.

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Person 1. Knock-knock. Person 2. Who's there? Person 1. The doctor. Person 2. The doct-- Person 1. You have cancer and have about three weeks to live.

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why did the man commit scuicide because he was depressed

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Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

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how to you mess with helen keller? Re-arrange her furniture

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How did a monkey fall out of a tree? He slipped on a banana.

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Why did Hellen Keller drive off of the cliff? Because she is a woman.

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what did batman say to robin to get him into the car? Get in the car

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Whats funnier than a guy in a wheelchair? A guy on the floor squirming to get back in his wheelchair.

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Help i have fallen and i cannont get up Life alert life alert To bad just sit there we dont care

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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