What do you call a black man carrying a T.V? Someone that is helping me move.

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What's green fury has 4 legs, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you. A pool-table

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how do you stop a baby from crying? Slit its throat

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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What gets bigger and bigger and bigger, then dies? A baby.

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roses are red, violets are purple, some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't

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Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

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Roses are red Violets are blue You just lost the game UMAD Bro?

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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What are annoying? Ads.

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Why did the little boy let go of his balloon? Because I was raping his face.

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Why can't Bin laden drive because he's dead

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Where is boots, Dora asks Why the hell are you asking me when your the one who is with him.

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Why was the black man drowning? His boat sank.

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What did the lawyer say to the doctor? - I am a lawyer and you're a doctor.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock Knock "Who's there?" Not Sally!

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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What did the old man say after he fell down? nothing.

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What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a mountainous mound of slain human offspring? There is none, the second is conferred to the subject of a conversation using a highly advanced vernacular.

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justin beiber is having intimate sex with a woman.

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A man is boarding a plane. The attendant asks if he has a passport. The man says no, and leaves.

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Q: whats the difference between a shoe and a ginger? A: shoes have soles.

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why did so many people die in the typhoon in the Philippines because they had to finish there math homework

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Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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