Why did the fat man get thrown out of an all you can eat buffet? He molested a waitress

Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

What did the farmer say to the other farmer? We are both farmers.

what is behind your butt? DEEZ NUTS

What do you call a bird that can't fly? an ostrich

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

What do you call a black man in church? Religious

Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

What could be happier than a fat guy eating 20 pies? The guy he bought it from!

What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

What hurts like hell? HELL

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...