Man hears son masturbating in room. The dad enters the room and tells him "Son if you keep jacking off you will go blind". The boy replies "Dad I"m over here".

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What's white and gluey Glue

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roses are red violets are blue flowers come in many colors

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Why does the kid cries when he sees me? Cuz i took his lollypop last week.

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the baby monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the dead monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did the black boy get for Christmas? A bike his parents bought him.

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What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center? Pepperoni

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Why did the camel climb Mount Everest? Actually, he wasn't a camel, he was a very experienced mountain climber. In any case no one really knows why he did it.

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Whats old and has been alone for years. Your dead nan

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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your mom.

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A priest walks into a drug den, most people would say this is pretty contradictory to his implied beliefs.

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What's the difference between your garage and mine? A pile of dead babies.

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If a brick said "hi" what you reply with? Nothing. You can't reply to something that doesn't speak.

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What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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9 + 10 = How much yo mama makes.

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Why did the black man go to jail? He stole some rice.

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what does pedobear get for christmas ? nothing he's the one giving love to all kids .

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A white guy, a black guy, an asian guy, an indian sit together. Canada

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Q: What did the doctor say to his wife? A: Penis.

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Why did Jay-Z rob a bank? Wait, nevermind. Jay-Z didn't rob a bank.

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What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops