What do you call a fat cat? Nothing if you are a good person

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My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He fell off a guard tower and broke his neck.

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Why are babies like shake weights? Cause If you shake them long enough, they both end up being inanimate objects.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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why was the girl eating a pie , because she were hungry

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfectly straight line? It is impossible for humans to draw perfect lines.

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When the mom got home from work, she was very tired. Her 6 year old son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She said sure and made one. Her son was very pleased and ate all of it. He knew he had a great mom. I actually lied above. The mom was killed by three men in hoodies in her back yard. They came inside and also murdered to boy. Worst of all the killers stole all of her food including the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat. I guess it doesn't matter now since he is unable to eat anymore...

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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What did little John do when he was bored? He went on Anti-Joke

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Why are some people so barbaric? Because some people are German.

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So this chick meets a guy at a bar. They never greet each other and the drive home sober.

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What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

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How do you kill a dumb blonde? Personally, I love stabbing them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was the only way to get across

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A man is standing on the street corner waiting for the bus. As it pulls up he steps on and pays his fare while he whistles to his iPod.

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What did the Watermelon say to its baby? I'll SEED you later!

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Two men walk into a bar. An hour later another man sees them knocked out on the ground. Q: What Happened A: They walked into a BAR.

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What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

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What do we call Osama? Osama

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i am a slasher, a slasher of prices to get to the other side. poop goo goo gaga

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? Red Paint.

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What did the monk say to the 1 legged, Asian prostitute Nothing, Monks take a vow of silence.

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My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

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What is James Miller's real name? James Miller.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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