How do you get a slave to stop screaming from the rope he is hanging on? You stop messing around and you hang him already!

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12/23/2012

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How do you get a Mother out of a tree? Ask them to come down, because it is really not socially acceptable for a responsible adult to be climbing trees.

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What did the hose say to the sprinkler? I'm gonna squirt you.

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Why did the stop sign run a red light? Because it couldn't see its face...

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Hey are you from tennessee? Because I recognize your accent and I grew up there also.

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Dude! That movie was so gay! It had a bunch of naked men having sex with other naked men!

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what did one worm say to the other worm? nothing. worms are incapable of speaking.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Walk to the corner store to buy one.

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Why did the black man get drenched by a fire hose because he was on fire

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A duck walks into a bar, the bartender says, "What'll it be?" The duck says "Got any grapes?"

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What is Abraham Lincoln's favorite website? Wikipedia. It's very informative. On second thought though, the Internet had not been invented yet back in his time.

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why is the sky blue? because your mother blocked your computer to meatspin.com

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I just shot up a plaground Now Im heading to an orphanage

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

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Q.A duck walks into a bar and asks for grapes.What is the duck asking for? A. Nothing... Ducks can't talk

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roses are red viloites are sour open your legs and give me an hour

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A man once had a monkey, and it made him very happy. then one day, his monkey ran away. So the man was very sad and screamed, "I knew i should have broken the monkey's legs!!"

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

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What's the difference between your momma and a bucket of shit? Well, for starters your mother and a bucket of shit aren't even made of the same physical structure, and secondly, your mother is sentient while a bucket is not.

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Whats blue and flufft Answer: Blue Fluff

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(two firefighters are climbing an undersea mountain in Brazil) Why do elephants fear the natural causes of silver icecream cones? Because the cars in the parking garage jump the moon while doing jumping jacks.

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Q: Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? A: Taking the laws of physics into consideration, nobody could fit inside a pineapple, nor could a pineapple survive in the sea

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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