Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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A man walks into a bar with an octopus. He tells the bartender that his octopus can play any instrument. The bartender gives the octopus bag pipes. The octopus fiddles with the bag pipes but can't seem to play them. The man gives the bag pipes back to the bartender and leaves with his octopus. He is quite embarassed and decided to get bagpipe lessons for his octopus.

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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knock knock! who's there? me.(walks away...)

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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Where did Mary go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Yo mama so fat, when the waiter handed her the menu, she said "yes"

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What do Muslims have for breakfast? Corn Flakes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the sidewalk he was on does not.

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What did the three best friends say to eachother? We are all best friends

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Bläeghen-Fassybìll-No?cheb!

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What did the young Muslim man have attached to him? A book-bag, it was is his first week college and he eager for an education.

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Q: why was the gay guy sad A: Becasue he was stright.

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Why was the blonde so stupid? She suffers a severe case of retardation.

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Why couldn't Timmy enjoy his ice cream? His lips were sewn together by an evil seamstress who was mad that he stole all of her Pop-Tarts

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What do you call a black man in church? Religious

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What hurts like hell? HELL

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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How did the little boy survive the massacre? He didn't. How did the little girl survive the massacre? She was the killer.

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One day little billy was wandering happily through the forest.He then trips and his legs disintegrate

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops