I'm not hungry, so when my mon offered me a pear I said to her "No thanks, I'm not hungry". 

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what did the policeman say to an armed robber? you can go, as long as you don't hurt my doughnuts

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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Scream went into the bar. The bartender says," Why the long face?" "..." *facepalm*

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Why would a dog sniff another dog's butt hole? Because that is what they do.

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Chuck Norris.

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Your mums so tall, she's above the average height of women for her age.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Shiiit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Taken from all sorts of species! Fa-la-la-la-la lala-lala! Bengal tiger, kangaroo, African elephant, blue whale too! Shit the halls with chunks of feces! Fa-la-la-la-lala-lala!

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What is computers and smells like thin and fragile? dyslexic nipples.

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What did the fat kid get for chirstmas? diabetes

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a charmander decided to take a swim a.w. j.p.

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A hindu and a muslim walk into a bar. They start arguing over their different fundamental religious beliefs and then considering it is an american bar, an american christian extremist quickly shoots them both for being " from that part of the world"

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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What did one cannibal say to the other cannibal? Nothing, because he was eating him.

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MR MCANN WHAT COLOUR IS YOUR PUBES ?

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Nothing, penguins haven't evolved a complex form of language.

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I just got robbed by an invisible man!!!!

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A snail buys a car from a dealership, and then asks the manager if he could paint a large S on the side of the car. The manager agrees, and the snail drives away. From the parking lot, the manager sees the car go straight on to the highway and get hit by a truck. Unfortunately, snails cannot drive.

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Tunechi

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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Theaters say silence is golden... Trap silence in a jar, make millions.

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How do you make the general public confused? ...

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What do you call a black man holding a stone with bloody hands A hard working stone mason

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops