what did the guy say on friday ? ah man im so glad its not monday tuesday wednesday thursday friday saturday sunday he then threw a horse at a plane while moonwalking on a star that was riding a duck that was on a rabbit. Sir jumpalot was working overtime as he had to pay for a free phone

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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Q. What do you call a bashed black man laying on pavement? A. Neapolitan

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Why did the man get go to sleep? He got hit in the face with a hammer.

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How to smash an apple Iphone <<<<<< Use A Hammer >>>>>>> PS : if u want to break a hammer use an iphone

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What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

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Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

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hows your wife she died 7 years ago really mine too

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69

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josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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y do black people always have nightmares because we killed the one who had a dream

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The Police The Police who? We're sorry Ma'am your son has died in a car accident... --------- Knock Knock! Who's there? Not your son

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I get more excited then my dog when I give her a treat

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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What did the boyfriend ask his girlfriend for on his birthday? Pokemon Yellow version.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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why did Suzy play jump rope with the neighbors kids? She had no legs!

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Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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hi jonny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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