Q. What's big, green, has four legs, fuzzy, and if fell out of a tree would kill you? A. A pool table

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knock knock who's there? john john who? john opens his mouth only to be gunned down by a terrorist attack

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A man walked in a bar and asked for 10 shots. (not descriptively) The bar tender got his gun out and shot the man 10 times. Another man asked for three stabs at it. The bar tender stabbed him 3 times. The last man asked for a bomb load. The bar tender gave him 100's of granades. Then the man bombed down the bar with the bar tender inside

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How types of people are there? One, we are the only homo sapiens.

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i like going to public parks and watching the kids run and yell because they dont know im using blanks

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Horse walks into a bar and the bartender says why the long face. The horse unable to understand English shits on the floor and leaves

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What did the Chinese man say to the black man? I'm Part of my Asian herritage.

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your friend is so gay that he cuts of dicks as his part time job. and enjoys it.

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why did the white man walking down the street have no hair? he had had cancer for 5 years prior.

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Two Black Males walk into a bar. A white old lady leaves cautiously. Everyone else stays and has a great time with them as they are actually two very good guys, and funny too.

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What did the cannibal order at McDonalds? Big Mac, extra pickle, hold the mayo.

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Let them think that you are insane, vulnerable, and they wont bother leaking a lot of shit about you, this "shit info" will remain inaccurate and reveal weaknesses where there is none. I had to draw them away from you, but as soon as he began selling Intel regarding my missing eye, I figure our "not so friends in the unknown" would have eventually begun searching for "The one eyed man" among you. And had they not found one, they might just as likely made it seem as if there was one for the money. None of the thugs sent to attack me nor the "Nero decoys" where professionals, but those behind them sure are, considering that they paid these thugs more than what I make during a year. Gotta go pretty girl, hope we meet again in not so long. Moral: This is all a joke, get over it, Moral has left forever, mission complete.

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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Why did the man eat the cat? I don't remember the punchline, but trust me it was hilarious.

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Why was the homeless man homeless? He lost his house in a terrible house fire, stretching throughout his apartment building, losing his much beloved wife and kids in the horrific accident.

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What did the guy say to the girl when she was on her knees? Stop playing with it put it in your mouth

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How I Met Your Mother, starring Oedipus Rex

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How Many Women Does It Take To Parallel Park A Car ? Zero , The Husband Drove

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A blonde lady has a sore throat. Her colleague tells her that whenever she has a sore throat, she performs oral sex on her husband and swallows, and this cures the problem. The next day, the blonde comes into work. The colleague asks if she followed her advice, and the blonde says yes and it worked. The blonde also passes a message from her boyfriend thanking her colleague for the suggestion. The two sets of spouses eventually became close friends and were godparents to each others' children.

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Y didnt the grandma go to christmas? She died on thanksgiving

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What did the rich man say to the poor man? i feel sorry for you

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and an astronaut? One walks on the moon and the other has sex with little boys.

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Your mother is so poor that she has to rely on government sent cheques to sustain a basic lifestyle.

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Why did the college student post unfunny anti-jokes on anti-joke.com? Because he was bored shitless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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