What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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hi little boy you want some candy i dont know do you want some candy you creeper

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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What do you call man with no limbs or a head? Your neighbor.

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I was walking down the street the other day And I pushed a child under a bus

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Banana. Impossible, fruits to not have the ability to talk.

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-Knock Knock -Who's there? -Me Me, who? -You -You? but I thought you were me. - I am you, you're looking in the mirror, asshole. - No, sir i'm sorry you have the wrong house. Asshole doesn't live here.

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What do u do when u hear about a smart Blonde. Cant think of anything? Exactly

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"Knock Knock" "Come in"

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I wondered why the piano was getting bigger. Then it hit me... I'm sorry I have visual agnosia

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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A mushroom walks into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve your kind here." The mushroom says, "What? I'm a fungi." The bartender replies, "Exactly. That's a health hazard. The health department already gave two strikes and if I lose the bar my wife will divorce me."

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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What did the blonde say when she fell out of a tree? Nothing, she shattered her trachea upon landing.

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your sister has 1 boob thats funny

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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Why couldn't the man ever reach his dream of becoming a professional athlete? He was pronounced with Alzheimer at a young age and could never remember his dream the next day.

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What do you do when a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back at her

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Why did the kid lose his nose? because his brother chopped it off with an axe.

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Knock Know! Come in!

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What happens if a Muslim leaves their bag on a bus? They quickly return onto the bus and get it.

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THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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