Yo momma so fat that they've diagnosed her with type 2 diabetes and she has an extremely elevated risk of heart disease. You should really encourage her to try and eat better and get more exercise.

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A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

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why couldn't the bicycle stand up on it's own? because it was two tired

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to, like any other chicken

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Why do birds fly South in the winter? Warmer, better food sources and therefore greater chance of survival.

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What falls down, but never gets back up? A dead person.

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How do you kill a ninja? Shoot him with a sniper rifle from a building. How do you make sure he's dead? Shoot him twice.

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A horse walks into a bar and asks the bartender "why the long face?" The bartender replies "this is the fourth time this week a horse walked into my bar and every time it happened i have to clean up a bunch of horse pooh!"

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What is the best way to deal with a broken ankle? Ear Lobes.

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What do you say to a whore with two black guys? How much an hour?

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Nero, listen, do not try to imply that you created the Iron man method, that was developed by many people over the duration of many years in the former underground society. You seem far too educated to be the savage you claim to be, if I told you that our people will do the uttermost to see if we can fix that eye of yours and succeed, will you forgive my failure and imperfections as a leader? Look at it this way, I am a leader, not a ruler, what my followers do is up to them, but if they cannot understand that they have to pay the consequences behind their actions, they have no place within the order, as for the expression "my order" it is simply what my many followers like for me to say, not because they are unwilling to take responsibility, but as a token of praise. Our articulations and means of expressing desire and such are very much the same, have you ever been part of our order?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Repeated jokes.

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What's red, green and smells like crap? Green and red crap.

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Q: What's blue, red, and circular? A: I lied about the blue, and... uh... the red and circular part too, but everything else is true. It is an ipod touch.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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What's black and white and red all over? Michael Jackson after his operation.

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Three guys walk into a bar. Soon after another man tries to walk in, but is stopped by the bouncers because the bar was at capacity.

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Ok soo theres a Jewish Guy, a Christian Guy and a Gay Guy. The Jewish Guy goes Amen The Christian Guy goes Ámen The Gay Guy goes Ammeeeennn

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Whats SxB-Tin+Shack+b= SB FUCKING B

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How do you know if an elephants been in your fridge? It's completely destroyed.

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Knock knock. Who's there? To To Who? To Whom.

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Do you like fish sticks? Yes. Me too.

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How do you blind an Asian? Rip out his eyeballs.

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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