What happens if you drop a baby of a cliff It dies

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If life throws you lemons, what do you do? Well unless life throws you water and sugar also, hen your lemonade is gonna taste horrible.

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What do you call a person who is deaf. It doesn't matter, they wont be able to hear it when you call them.

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What is wet, white and sticky? Glue, of course.

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A Muslim, a Jew and a Christian are on an airplane talking about religion. The Jew tells the Christian he believes in a single holy entity. The Christian says he believe Christ is the Son of that very same entity. The Muslim says "When can I get out of this room?" because he's been detained at the airport due to religious profiling.

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Why couldn't the little seven year old girl paint her finger nails? She fell in front of a train.

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What did the White guy say to the Black Guy? Nothing... he looked him up and down and spat at him instead.

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You know what they say... Once you go black you...have gone down the road of diversity and it's impossible to back track and return to ones previous misconceptions.

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who is not good looking? mon morello

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If life gives you lemons, You throw them as hard as you can at the nearest stranger. If life gives you melons, You're probably dyslexic.

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A blonde walked into a hair salon. She got her hair dyed black, as she is sick and tired of jokes that scrutinize those with blonde hair.

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Dylan: "I dont understand anti-jokes"

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Roses are red, Violets are red, OH SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE

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What sits on a shelf and says hey im a book? A person who thinks hes a book.

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Attack her with a sanding machine.

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What did the frog say when it was attacked? Ribbit.

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Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

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Why was the wife disappointed in her husband? He hasn't been very talkative since the suicide.

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How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Only one, but he may forget to finish the task due to his Alzheimer's.

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Haikus are easy Im happy when I write them Thats pretty much it

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A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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An airplane flies due north at 100 m/s through a 30 m/s cross wind blowing from the east to the west. Determine the resultant velocity of the airplane.

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Whats worse then walking into a door? getting shot in the head by a 10ft squirrel holding 44.magnum and a slice of cheese in the other

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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