Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

why did the girl fall off the swing? because someone threw a fridge at her.

A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

What do you get when you cross a baby and a chainsaw? Life imprisonment.

Bigfoot, the loch ness monster, and self-respecting Justin Beiber fans are all the same, your told they exist, it's not true.

Why did the four friends drive past the bar? To see if it was too crowded to go into or not.

What's the oppicite of brown???? Something not brown.

What do you call a black guy that drives an airplane? A pilot.

- Women have rights, aren't they? - Yes, they have.

A man walks outside and sits down to eat his sandwich.

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

Ha! You're so gay that I respect the sexuality you were born with and I feel completely comfortable with, and happy for, you and your preferences.

An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

Why did Biggie Smalls eat so much dark chocolate? His doctor suggest that he eat foods high in fiber.

Why can't black people swim? Because there are sharks in the lake.

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

A squirrel asks an apple where is the nearest gas station. The apple doesn't reply.

Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

There's nothing more natural than the coals under the fire...

shit is shit, even if you paint it purple; its still shit

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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