Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he is no longer alive.

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what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

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What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

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whats the difference between a black man playing basketball and a white man playing basketball? They are different races

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What is the biggest killer in America? Death.

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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A man runs into a bar and yells "Ow!!" He is hospitalized due to severe trauma to the head and spine.

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little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

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Wayne Rooney's face and intelligence.

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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Cole and his brother josh tag team jaycie until she cries herself to sleep while Sarah watches

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What do joe greene and joe biden have in common? Their first name

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Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

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How would you rule?

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An Aussie, American and Englishman were all drinking beer on a plane to Hawaii. All 3 of them were very excited for their vaction, which they all saved hard for and their breaks from work were well deserved.

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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Joseph Coney could die... or worse... he could do anything but that....

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What do dragonflies do when they are a couple? One sits on the others head, causing the bottom dragonfly to have a loss of vision, and increases the weight on the bottom dragonfly, which increases the chance of both the dragonflies deaths.

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Why was the cat meowing really loud? It was on fire. Why did the cat suddenly stop meowing? It died.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What is the proper response when someone says "My family died in a car crash"? Lol fail

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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