Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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what's worse than finding a truck full of dead babys taking them out with a pitchfork

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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what did charlie sheen do when his ex wife insulted him? he horribly abused her

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What did Robin do in between crime fighting? He had a paper route.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? Because she wasn't a woman

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What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

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What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

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Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

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What's did the white man say to the black man? Howdy.

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Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

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Q:What happens when you choke a smurf? A: Nothing because smurfs dont exist

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A man walks into a bar with his dog. He orders 14 shots and proceeds to drink. For each shot he takes, he feeds one to his dog, who accepts it willingly. The bartender says "Well I've never seen anything stranger. Why did you order 14 shots, and why are you giving half to your dog." "Well," says the man, "my 14 year old dog was diagnosed with a fatal heart condition. I cannot afford to put him down, so the shots should kill him." The dog then dies.

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What do you do when a bomb is exploding 2 inches away from you? You die.

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What did one Black college student say to another? What is your major?

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Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

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what do you call a pond filled with frogs having sex with bacteria is burning there insides while a midget with assburgers is chanting "SMACK THAT BADONKADONK!" racism..

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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What did the blind man say when you asked hi his favorite color? Nothing he is death too

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Why I am at the hospital now: True as it gets. I found on my working desk a small box of fluoride pills, I was like meh, but it said banana, strawberry, mint and pear, so I was like yeah! And grabbed a mouthful before going URGH! Then my friends entered laughing saying "I hope you do well on that test tomorrow!" So yeah, I passed out, and it turns out my "friends" (victims ill torture to they beg for death). 80 MG OF VALIUM!!! Yeah good trucking luck on my test eh? I nearly died twice, somehow, I think I should ask doc if my heart is okay or something, my head is fucked up the floor is all wavy and I cant differentiate numbers Seriously, one guy was gonna come visit say sorry, but he sent his girlfriend instead... My wife was so worried, that when I said: Mind if I have my vengeance by screwing his girlfriend? My wife said: I was so worried, you still okay? That actually sounds like a good scheme... So, yeah... I am typing this because, I am totally going to have a threesome... When and if my ever wakes up again... She agreed... She was always kinda into me but still! If you dont understand this, well... Next time, if you want to poison me, USE SOMETHING THAT KILLS ME! BECAUSE I WILL BE BACK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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