How do you beat Andy Murry at tennis? KILL HIM!

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

I was going to type an anti-joke but I totally forgot how it starts. It goes something like something something something something something your mom's a whore.

When life gives you lemons, take them. Free stuff is cool.

Hickory Dickory Dock Three mice ran up a clock The cluck struck one But the two other got away with minor injuries

What did batman say to robin before they got into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile.

How do you make a 5 year old cry? Kill their parents.

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

Q: What happens when Lisa drops an iPad? A: She plays Desperado on the sax.

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

Q: Why did Robin Williams kill himself? A: Because he was jealous of all the attention that Phillip Seymour Hoffman was getting.

How do you stop birds from building nests in your grill? You turn the grill on

Q: What's small, round, and looks like a marble? A: A marble.

An elephant walks into a bar. Several people are trampled.

How do two blondes stay alive at the bottom of a pool for 30 minutes? They don't and they died

what is the worst thing to find out about for wife she is your arm

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was DEAD! But why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was stapled to the first monkey... But then why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? P-p-p-p-eer pressure

Knock knock Whos there A dead boy a dead boy who A dead boy who started tobuy drugs and didn't have the money for it and his family loved him and he was going to go to college

He who laughs last...is not a laughing owl because they're extinct.

What happened when the boy stood up? He had all his limbs hacked off and soon after died.

Why did the man wear a mask He had low self-esteem, and was ashamed of his facial appearance

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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