I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

thumb_up thumb_down -30

So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? having your limbs scliced off with a chainsaw and being put in a cage to get mauled by a Mutant Man-eating horse.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A smiling Frog talks with a lion O O U What do u eat for breakfast lion? V V T T Smiling frogs __(___ |____| O O -

thumb_up thumb_down -30

YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

-knock knock! -doors open

thumb_up thumb_down -30

A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What did the cow say to the dog? Moo

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Useful Information: *2+2=5 *4+4=9 *6+6=13 Q: Given this information, how many fingers am I holding up? A: It was a trick question. Batman didn't open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why didn't Suzie answer her mother? Suzie has a serious condition where she is mute and also severely deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why did the guy stay up all night on the internet? because hes a fat ugly bastard with no life

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q: what is the most confusing day in the ghetto? A: fathers Day

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Q-What do you call a dog with no legs? A-Nothing because he cant come over to you anyway..

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why do fat people make such good slaves? They're too fat and lazy to escape. Unfortunately, if you want your slave to be fat, you actually have to feed it properly.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

Why was the man weird... Stevie Wonder

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the black guy homeless? because he has been affected severely by the credit crunch, been made redundant and had his home repossessed

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Hitler: honey what's for dinner? Hitlers wife: a jewwwsyy steak

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Wish me luck these are the ten numbers on my keno 19 65 80 2 34 72 68 22 12 8

thumb_up thumb_down -32

why does it take 2 woman with p.m.t to change a light bulb? because there both tired , feel bloated , and could do with a bar of choccy

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why was the drunk man in jail? He had lost touch with himself because his wife cheated on him the previous night and to add to the fact she took his clothes so public nudity would be a problem.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What's the difference between a pile of rotting shit about to be re-heated in the microwave and Kevin James's new movie "The Zookeeper" ... Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Q How do you make the fire fighter sad? A Kill his dog

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops