A man walks into a bar and shuffles his way through the intoxicated patrons. He finds the only open stool and quickly sits in it before any other see it. The bartender approaches him and ask: "What will it be?" The man replies: "Can I have a beer?"

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A blond walks into a hair dresser's wearing a pair of headphones. The hair dresser tells the blond to take the headphones off so she can cut the blond's hair. The blond says that if they take off the headphones, then they'll die. The hair dresser works around the headphones, but finally needs to cut underneath the headphones. The hair dresser forces the blond to take the headphones off and nothing happened.

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knock knock who's there the police you're under arrest for the kidnapping, and murder of 12 girls you have the right to remain silent anything you say or do can and will be used against you in the court of law

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Yo mama so dumb that she got mediocre grades throughout highschool and college which explains her less than desirable financial situation

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Why cant white guys jump? Well that would be wrong because some can. Have you seen Blake Griffen?

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A guy walks into a bar. After only 10 minutes, he leaves. The bar closes in 10 minutes.

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how many weasels does it take to change a lightbulb 0 weasels are animals and therefore are not capable of changing lightbulbs

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What's dirtier than an ice cream cone rolled in dirt? The dirt it was rolled in.

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Yo momma is so stupid, she is in rehab and will unlikely get over her mental illness leading to her soon and fatal death.

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What did the elephant say to the clown? Swell, morning isn't it?

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Whats the difference between a ghost and a dolphin? Ghosts aren't dolphins.

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Why did the man walk into the bar Because he was an acoholic

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Yo momma, she so fat, she needs to buy extra-large clothes.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This website is dumb Your mom is going to kill you

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Why can't black people get sunburned? Natural selection allowed ancient Africans to develop a darker skin shade that would counter strong UV rays.

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Your mom is so fat she decided to get out of bed and exercise because she realized her health would become serious and wanted ot do something about it.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What happens if you don't stop, drop, and roll? Astigmatism.

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How do you silence Justin Bieber? Hold his head under water until he stops struggling.

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why couldnt the boy get into the pirate movie? he was hit by a mexican telephone server.

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What did the kid with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A bicycle.

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Do you know what really hurts my feelings? Nerve damage.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money and she was looking forward to having a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man:"Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor:"You have aids"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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