What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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If George Washington was the first president, and Barack Obama is the latest, how old is my grandma?

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WELCOME TO THE GARLIC BOYS SHOW! So kids, what are we gonna eat today? POTATOES! FUUUUUUU! Moral: You say tomata, I say WROOOOOOOONG, you say cheap I say your mother.

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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what do u call a turtle with no shell? Larry

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your mother is such a nice person that most people enjoy her company

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Wht did noah7262 cross the road? to abandon his friends and play Modern Warfare 3 on xbox live. asshole.

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What's wore then finding a worm in your apple? Being the only person to survive a plane crash over Alaska, then having to eat your family in order to stay alive waiting for help to come.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

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How did the frog fly? It drank a magic potion. How did the snake fly? It ate the frog How the the eagle fly? It already can.

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Whats worse than seeing a child with autism? Seeing a child doin' serious damage in a mosh pit

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WHat is funnier than a baby swimming. - A baby drowing.!

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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What came first the egg or the hen? your mother did, when I had sex with her last night.

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Wanna here a funny joke? Will is straight HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA hes gay

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why are there so many peadofiles in the world? sexy kids.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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A horse walks into a bar and the barman asks, "Why the long face?" The horse, being a horse and thus unable to speak or comprehend the complexities of conversation, does not reply and shits on the floor.

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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what do you call an animal thats black and white and red all over? an elephant

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What's the difference between a gay and a homo?...........WTF I DON'T KNOW!?!?!?!?

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Why did the boy cut his hair? Because he was large.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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