Why is it so hard to cook vegetables? The wheel chair won't fit in the oven.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Tell me who you are, who you are working for, I wont tell anybody, and I will have someone to hack this site on the hour and remove these comments, please.

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a man walked into a bar.the bar was metal and he cracked his skull

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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Why did the black man walk into the white house? Cause he lives there because he is our president

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What is worse then rain on your wedding day? Getting married.

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Q: what is blue and has no legs A: A crippled boy painted blue

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What do you call it wen black people are sky diving? ...Night

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Roses are red violets are blue i have aids and now so do you

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What's worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What is white and long? A New York winter

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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What do you call a terrible Therapist that shoots coke up his nose? Sickman, Sickman Fraud.

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Why did Stephen hawking walk into A bar? He didn't. This situation is impossible considering the fact that he suffers from a horrible condition causing terrible muscular paralysis preventing him from walking.

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Whats brown a sticky, shit

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What did Soviet children dream about? Communism.

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Why was Charles bleeding, because he was stabbed in the head with a needle

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Insert joke that isn't even an anti joke = The new jokes on anti joke now.

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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