An Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman walked into a bar. The Englishman ordered a lager, the Irishman ordered a Guiness, and the Scotsman ordered tap water.

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What is black and white and has 4 wheels? A zebra, I lied about the wheels

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Stalin and Hitler went to Kmart to buy mini-toothpaste. Because they schleifen schlafanned on their way to the country club.

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How do you say hooker in Chinese? ?

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Why did the black guy punch the white guy? They were both professional boxers.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gilbert Gilbert who? Goddamn it David just open the door

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Q:Why was 6 afraid of seven? A:Because seven ate (eight) nine

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A boy walks up to a girl he finds attractive and says "You're body's kick'in! ... i mean...hey, do you know karate?"

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I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

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Why did the blonde jump off the bridge? She was clinically depressed and wanted to end her life

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What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

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Whats sad about 6 mexicans driving off a cliff in an escalade? An escalade sits 7 people.

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What is the difference between Julis Ceaser, and the moon? The moon is covered in rocks and craters, and Julis Ceaser is DEAD

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Yo mamma so fat she has to have anti biotics to keep her alive

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If you had 4 oranges in one hand and 7 oranges in the other, what would you have? Really big hands.

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Your mothers so ugly that when memory sees her it says " Damn-it I hate my job!

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knock knock who's there? your destiny

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Why did the little girl fall of the swingset. She got kidnapt and raped by a giant scorpion.

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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whats older than your mom? a tortoise that has been living more than a couple hundred years

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No it doesnt..

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the young girl fall off of the swing set? Because a man came up behind her and pushed her. He then picked her up, brought her home and fed her a nice three course meal and put her to bed. When she woke up she snuck out of the house and alerted the police.

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Why did the car break down? Because breakfast was done.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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