What do chicken and babies have in common? They both taste like chicken.

What do communists and strawberries have in common? You can eat them.

If i open this door you can go trough it

What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13

What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? a fridge was thrown at her

Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

Why does 1+1=2? Dunno, e-mail me if you do.

Your mum is so fat that she finds trouble fitting through thinner doorways

Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

Fenestrade De Riguerto sat aloft his might horse Bentereuse and called for his brigadiers. At home his wife was opening a package. 2 minutes later a sound could be heard reverberating across the countryside. It was the invasion fleet from Denarus V wiping out humanity

Why did Sally fall off her swing? -she had no arms knock knock whos there not Sally

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

Why did the clown go to jail? He murdered a thirteen-year-old girl.

Why do you call a person who spits in your cheeseburger? A mean person

A grasshopper walks into a bar and no one notices because it's just a little insect.

Q:Whats big, red and eats rocks? A: A big red rock eater

That Rachael chick needs to get back in the kitchen

q.how do u kill a jew? a.you glue a penny to the bottom of a pool

What is hard, long, moist, and flesh colored? A hotdog you dirty, dirty bastard!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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