why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST! GET DOWN ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

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Okay, hundred billions, and because I am fucking hungry, we make it perpetual, now the longer you keep the feeling going, the stronger and stronger and you know, trillions, indefillions, nondecillions, hell, make up your own numbers and just consider them higher. Bet its starting to feel pretty nice huh?

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Q: There's a Brit, Kenyan, German, and Colombian in one room. Where are they? A: Public School

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A duck walks into a bar and says to the bartender "Put it on my bill."

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I'd like to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather did. Not screaming in terror like the rest of te people in his car.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Knock knock who's there?... a stupid punchline because the door is imaginary and I am just wasting your time telling a knock knock joke

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How do you earn a bunch of money all at once? Walk into Hot Topic and say "I have knives for sale!"

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"Doctor, Doctor, Help I feel like a pair of curtains" "I've got some cream for that".

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What's big or small, can come in different colors, and would kill you if it was forced inside you? A refrigerator.

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. Steven Hawking is disabled from the neck down. I lied.

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What did the day say to his son when he came out of the closet? Its alright

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Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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What did the platypus do whenever he walked into the bar? Nothing. It's a platypus, they don't do much.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

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Whats whats black, yellow, wnd green all over? The Jamacain flag

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Knock knock. Who's there? Boo Boo who? I don't have a last name, it's just Boo

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What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops