So a guy says to his dog "hey man when you piss in the toilet can you please flush, just because I don't like to look at your pee." then the dog sits back and says "...woof !!"

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Why did the black man cross the road? Because he lived an worked on opposite sides of the road, and so consequently needed to cross the road to work, and provide an income for his family, so they could have fresh food, clean water, and have money to pay the bills such as the mortgage so they didnt become poor and homeless, which would inevitably lead to illness and an early death for them all.

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why did the black guy where orange shoes? Because he likes orange.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Phil.

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Why is Sophie incapable of Lifeguarding correctly? Because she only has limited use of all of her senses , especially hearing,

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Why do all black people have AIDS? Because they deserve it.

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How many men does it take to change a lightbulb? One

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A Muslim and 2 French people walked into a bar They start to have a nice conversation about Charlie Hebdo

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What did the man say when he saw Niagra falls? Nothing, he was blind.

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Whats worse than getting an "F" on a test? Stage diving with a kilt on.

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What's wrong with black people? They tend to make mistakes, as do all humans

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If life throws you lemons, get under some shelter so you don't get pelted by flying fruit and worry about making lemonade later.

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What is red and smells like brown feces? Bloody feces

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Why couldn't the infant read the book? Because he was blind.

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Why cant the guy drink his beer Because he hasnt opened it yet

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Knock knock who's there atch watch who? bless you

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What do you call cheese that's mine? My cheese

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In other news, a Florida man was arrested today for stealing candy...with a knife.

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Tried to type an ascii of a penis, failed

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How did bill lose his legs he got them amputated after contracting a severe case of "INeedToGetMyLegsAmputatedSyndrome"

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side.

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How does Lady Gaga like her meat? As a dress.

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What did Jay Z say to his long lost friends? Allow me to reintroduce myself, my names Jay - Z

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops