Knock knock Who's there The police The police who? Ma'am your son is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I found a lump on my right testicle. So, as a precaution I went to my local hospital to have myself checked out. Thankfully, it wasn't accute testicular cancer. Instead I only had to suffer for a few months, but it's getting better now. Sadly, I won't be able to have children and now my semen has a somewhat unsavoury flavour. Thanks for asking.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he saw some pandas spooning.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the baby crying? Because it was just born and usually a baby cries when its born, if it dosent it usually means something is wrong, so the mother was happy to hear her baby cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Mohamed is driving a taxi to the airport at 20mph How many pounds of explosives are strapped to his chest?

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why was the boy crying? His mother has terminal cancer, and his father does not have the financial stability to cover the cost of the surgery and keep up on house payments and buying clothes and food for the children. He will be living in a foster home in a matter of a week.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the prostitute say to the pimp? Can I have $50? She was found three minutes later beaten to death with a purple cane, and had many imprssions of rings in her skull

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red Violets are blue you smaell funny just like my poo! this came from the BOTTOM of our hearts!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Chuck Norris walks up to a baby and punches it in the face He walks away and laughs

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: How many Jews does it take to fix a light bulb? A: 2, one to hold the light bulb and the other to turn the ladder

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why is the baby on fire? Because there was a gas leak at the day care facility. It would have been a terrible tragedy had a heroic babysitter not come to the rescue.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what's worse than a dead baby in the bathtub? if the baby was named Grace.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Two guys walk into a bar together. They are diagnosed with a concussion and later on in life have serious brain issues

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the robot cross the road? Because It was bionically fused to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Daddy drinks, Because you cry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Knock knock. Who's there? Andy. You're late, I've been piss-arsing about waiting for you to get here.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

why did the boys run from Michael Jackson? because they thought he was a ghost

thumb_up thumb_down -11

lets work together to make all racists jokes in negitives

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What grows on trees and is woody? Wood.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops