What did the octopus say to the lion? Nothing, because the likely hood of a lion and an octopus meeting is incredibly slim, as an octopus is a sea creature, and a lion isn't. A lion and an octopus cant even communicate with each other anyway, so even if they did come across each other they wouldn’t be able to talk. Octopi are also anti-social creatures by nature so I can say with some confidence that the lion and the octopus will not have a convocation. Written By JAMES!

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What do you call something green and fuzzy? Grass, I lied about the fuziness.

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what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

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I have three heads and nine eyes, what am I? I'm a liar.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Police. Come out with your hands up!

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In Soviet Russia you don't drive car, because the Soviet Union was disbanded in 1991

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Seven was in a horrible car accident recently and became very disfigured. He didn't tell Six, so the initial shock of seeing him for the first time was quite jarring for Six. Seven has had multiple surgeries since and, once the swelling recedes, he should look much better. It will still hurt for him to chew though.

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why wasnt johnny in math class?....he slipped and cracked his skull on his way there, he is now recovering at the hospital

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why did Sallt fall off the swings? she had no arms knock knock who's there not Sally

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Want to hear a joke? 12 year olds

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whats the worst kind of homework? child abuse

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What do you call a mexican with a driveable lawnmower? Rather wealthy.. He must have a secure job to pay for a home with a lawn, and a lawnmower.

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Robin get in the batmobile!

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Why was the couple in the waiting room crying? Because their son was diagnosed of AIDS and will probably not live into his twenties.

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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A bald man walks out a bar crying Prostate cancer

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What's worse than finding half a suicide tablet in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Q: Whats horny and likes your leg? A: My dog.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally raped and murdered 8,9,10, and 11 along with their families.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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A brunette, a redhead and a blonde are on the run from the police. They see a barn, and decide to hide inside it. They find three burlap sacks, and each hide in one. The police enter the barn, arrest each of the girls, and sentence them to life imprisonment for murder.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A man in a trash compactor.

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Yes and no, you would have ruined what is beautiful yet different within your soul.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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