THe Election

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What did Johnny get for Christmas? Drugs, Johnny was a convicted drug dealer, age 19.

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Why does Rupert the Bear wear chequered trousers? Because that's how the creator originally drew him.

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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Human: Are you a frayed knot? Frayed knot: I'm afraid so.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender immediately shoots it in the face with a double barrel shotgun, ending the rabid animal's life

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What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to use a female name.

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? A pilot you racist bastard!

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Do you believe in magic? cuz i do.

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Every time a bell rings an angel gets it's wings. What they don't tell you is every time a mouse trap snaps an angel gets set on fire.

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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What's black and white and red all over? A dead Zebra

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Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. In the world of cardinal numbers, protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary. You should not judge them by the standards of human society. It's ignorant and offensive.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? You Know. You Know who?.......GOODBYE!

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What would kill a Muslim if they were to ingest it? Arsenic

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Why do zebras have stripes? I don't know.

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Why do people carry around spoons? Because they like to do them

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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Why'd the squrille fall out of the Tree? Cause it was dead

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* pretend your an orphan Knock knock Who's there? Not your parents.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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How do you have fun while stuck in traffic? Play bumper cars!

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops