What did the man with cancer get for his birthday? A gravestone.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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You can lead a horse to water, but you can't suck its dick.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance ? "because he had nobody to go with" No because it was dead.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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You want to hear a joke? Republican

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Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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What did the little boy say before he succumbed to cancer? Nothing. It was too painful.

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How does a black man cut his hair? At a hairdresser

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How did the man escape the giant scorpion? He didn't he watched as his family died and waited for his demise crying in the corner of the scorpion's layer

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Phew, I was like thinking all like "I am really into this guy, we can like chat like this and stuff too right?"

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Ok so there were 2 white dudes telling black jokes...so one of the white dudes tells a joke to the other... 1st dude: what's brown and tall? 2nd dude: a tree 1st dude: no that scary black man who looks like he wants to beat us up.

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dont be races! be like mario he is a italian plumer , he works for a white princess , catches coins like a jewish guy and he jumps like a black guy.

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What's the difference between a bird and a wheel? They both fly, I lied about the wheel.

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Why does Renee suck at tetris Because she has cancer.

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What happened to the plumber payed in gum? His family left him because he was irresponsible with his business

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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How did the little boy with cancer run in his running race??? Very Well....

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If you are riding on a boat and all the wheels fall off, how many pancakes would it take to make a dog house? It does not matter because fish don't like tomatoes.

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Why did the black women sing to the left to the left? Answer: because black people have no rights

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to your house..... knock knock! whos there? THE CHICKEN!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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