What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Cross chicken the road? Because it wasn't the way to the Lord

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Once there was an English man, A Scottish man and an Irsh man. They were all in a scenario where each of them had to undetake a task. The English man and the Scottish man undertook their task without any problems, but the Irish man was confused resulting in a hilarious outcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's up? Up Adverb: Toward the sky or a higher position. Preposition: From a lower to a higher point on (something); upward along: "I climbed up a flight of steps". Adjective: Directed or moving toward a higher place or position: "the up escalator". Noun: A period of good fortune. Verb: Do something abruptly or boldly: "she upped and left him". Synonyms: adverb. upward - upwards - aloft - above - upstairs - overhead preposition. on - upon - over - along - with adjective. rising noun. ascent - rise - upgrade verb. raise - enhance - increase - lift - rise

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why are Asians good at Math? Because they are bad at English.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why didnt the 14 year old get her period? Because she had gotten pregnant by her father

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A bear wakes up from hibernation and is hungry. He sees a nearby forest cabin and decides to see if he can find food inside. The bear breaks into the cabin and thus the people staying there frantically run away to call animal control.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many athiests does it take to change a light bulb? One.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How much does a polar bear weigh? about 900 pounds

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do girls swim naked in lakes and oceans? so they have an excuse why their pussies smell like either tuna or cat fish.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's big white and can't fly? -Half of America Whats big brown and can't fly? -Crap

thumb_up thumb_down -12

"CHOCOLATE!!!!!!!!" -Spongebob

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: how do you test the sharpness of a knife A: stab someone MR

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't the baby play with the blocks? It died during birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do lawyers and sharks have in common? They both play vital roles in their own society or ecosystem.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a blackjack man driving a car? An average citizen.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? Because she was a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma so fat, she was recently diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is at great risk for developing heart disease!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops