Why is Michael Jackson bad at chess ? Because he is dead.

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-The proceeding statement is true. -The preceeding statement is false.

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Me, get naked bitch!

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if your having trouble coming through the back door, try a Butterfinger

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Why couldn't the teen go to the prom? He was busy working to help his mom recover from breast cancer.

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? Please, not the nails.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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Why are Asians yellow? Because that is their natural skin color

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Why did the fat guy survive the the plane crash? He was late to get up due to a malfunctioning alarm clock and so missed his flight, sparing him of the tragic outcome the other passengers suffered. To this day he still thinks about how a completely random occurrence saved his life.

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I walk the path less taken. Moral: Everything in life is a moral, as far as I care immorality does not exist, everything goes, I AM MORAL MAN!! He`s the MORAL MAN IIS HEE A MORAAL OR IS HEE... (you know Ozzy) AND NOW THAT YOU ARE DOMINATED you can go back to your fun, or reply, again, but you see, at this point I am already elswhere, so if you reply, you lose your control of your nasal coughanalcough nerve endings, and the potency of course.

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A banana walks into a bar many people leave considering bananas certainly don't walk. many people are wondering if they are dreaming

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A hipster walks into a bar you've never heard of...

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Anti-Joke is a knock-off.

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What do you call a Harry Beaver? A beaver with lots of hair.

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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Why did the deaf man attend the music concert? He was invited by friends and wasn't doing anyhting else that evening.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Horses that lose Are made into glue

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What did the plane say to the twin towers? Boom

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That awkward moment when a sentence doesn't end the way you think it octopus.

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Who's Juan? DIS ONE

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So a man walks into a bar, And because he is dressed in such a way that was thought of as threatening to the general safety of the highly valued customers, he is shot eight times in the head.

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What do you say to a blind man in a sunglasses store? Nothing. Why do you feel the need to bother strangers while you needlessly shop at your local merchandise outlet?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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