What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's orange and sticky? An orange. What's red and sticky? My stool - is that normal?

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what did one gay guy say to the other gay guy? want to suck dicks? (cause that's what gays do)

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What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

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How do you stop a baby from making bad grades? You throw a javelin at its head.

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So my wife was in the kitchen, and I asked her to make me a sandwich. She agreed. I then volunteered to make her one. Lesbian relationships are amazing.

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what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I killed your family, and now i'm coming after you.

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Your mom is so dirty, She smells.

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You know how hitler wasn't accepted into the art school ? The teacher who didn't let him join was Jewish .

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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Roses are red,I love the walking dead,but if they kill off Darrell ill watch glee instead

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What did the man do with the naked baby girl? He put some clothes on her and proceded to lay her down for a nap.

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Why did the chicken cross the road I don't know

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A: Do you want to hear a joke? B: A ladie not working in the kitchen A: WTF dude thats just terrible

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How do you survive the zombie apocolypse? You avoid dieing or being mutated in the living dead.

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Knock knock. Who's there? IRS. Youre being audited, Sir.

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What did the mother of the boy with cancer say on his birthday? - Happy Birthday, too bad you still have cancer.

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What do an airplane and a strawberry have in common? They can both fly.... Except for the strawberry

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alan okay come in

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Even dyslexic people attend church and pray to Dog.

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My mates dad hasnt had a job in 20 years... its probably why there all homless outside my house.

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A woman who lived alone with her parrot left her apartment to run to the store, forgetting that a plumber was scheduled to come and fix her sink. A few minutes later, the plumber arrived and knocked on the door. The parrot inside called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, "it's the plumber. I've come to fix the sink." The plumber waited for a bit and, seeing that nobody was coming to the door, knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber replied, a little more loudly, "it's the plumber! I've come to fix the sink!" Again the plumber waited. After a few more minutes, he knocked again. The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber yelled, as loudly as he could, "IT'S THE PLUMBER! I'VE COME TO FIX THE SINK!" Still, nobody came to the door. The plumber banged the door repeatedly, The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?" The plumber screamed "IT'S...THE...PLUMBER!!! I'VE...COME...TO...FIX...THE...SIIIIIIINK!!!" and then, consumed with rage, clutched his chest and fell over dead from a stress-induced heart attack. A few minutes later, the woman returned home and, while opening her door, noticed the plumber lying dead in her hallway. She looked at her parrot and asked, "Who is it?" The parrot called out, "WHO IS IT?"

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There are three guys on an airplane, a Korean, a Mexican, and an American. The pilot comes on the speaker and syays,"The plane is to heavy, throw out the thing you have most in your country." The Korean throws out an AK-47 and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The Mexican throws out a taco and says,"We have to many of these in our country." The American throws out the Mexican and says,"We have to many of these in our country."

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So, I walked into my friends house and MAH DEDDEHS DECK was outside bruh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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