what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't Cait walk her dog? She's been paralyzed from the waist down since she was 5 after her and her parents got into a car accident and her parents died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what did i do after u pinched me? i killed everyone

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A bear walks into a bar. Everyone evacuates as animal control safely asses the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are green id love to flick owen cliffords mams bean

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks up to you and asks you:"What's funnier than a dead baby?" and then smiles, you then proceed to frown and tell him he needs to seek help. The next day you see his face on your TV

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A white kid, a black kid, and an Asian kid all try out for the basketball team. Which one makes the team? All of them, because they are all very good.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have a gun! So I KILL YOU!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A man walks into a bar. Splash.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Ask me if I care. Do you care? No.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you get when you mix a polar bear and a dog? A dead dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did Mexico enter the war? Because they were bombed.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

How do you get McFly into a Mini? McFly are a four member band and a mini has four seats so it's actually quite straightforward.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock - who's there? Bob -bob who.... Bobs knocking for suzie!

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I heard a joke one time about a Rabbi, a Priest, and a little boy. It wasn't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock, Who's there Why did the chicken cross the road? Idiot.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

why was the boy sad he had a frog stapled to his face

thumb_up thumb_down -1

chuck norris multiplied by zero equals zero.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the gay man not walk straight? Because I took a jack hammer to his foot

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Who is yellow and cant drive straight. A man dying of lukemia

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because someone threw a fridge at him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops