Your mother smells so bad that if she were alive in 1919 she would most likely be outlawed in the Geneva Convention or at least banished from conventional warfare among nations that adhere to the restrictions imposed by such a document

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Guns dont kill people...whoever pulled the trigger kills people

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was an animal with a small brain and could not comprehend the situation.

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What did the plant say to the human. Nothing.

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whdid the cop say to the robber as he ran out of the bakery? I caught you bread handed

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Brandon Bass's career average for assists is 0.7 a game. guess what his nickname is bassy

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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A rabi and a priest go out for a coffee they talk for a while and go on there way

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How many blacks does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None we have mexicans for that

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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What did the black fire-fighter do when the house caught fire? The heroic man ran inside and got every animal and person inside to the out side and then proceeded to extinguish the flames with his fire-extinguisher out, thus saving most of the families valuables. He was then awarded a raise in his salary for his heroic valor. Although any fire-fighter could have done this because of the hard work and dedication that is put into training. So really describing the race that this heroic man is was totally pointless.

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How many lesbians does it take to change a lightbulb? One. But after she does this, se will probably have sex with another woman

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7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,7,8

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a pan of muffins comes out of the oven one muffin says "hey im really burnt" another muffin says "oh my gosh! a talking muffin!"

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Whats worse than a truck full of dead babies? A live baby trying to eat his way out.

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What do you call a two headed platypus? Go ask him, I'm sure he has a name.

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How many amish does it take to change a lightbulb? Presumably only one, but since they do not generally use electricity it has yet to be tested.

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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noah is a scrub jungle

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Q; What's the new slogan for the TSA? We handle more junk than EBay.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I can't rhyme The end

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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