Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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A man punches a 3rd grader in the stomach. Not long after he is arrested and no longer is allowed within 500 feet of a public school.

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Why did Suzy drop her ball? Because roughly 5 years ago she was part of a car crash violently tearing off both of her arms. Knock knock. Who's there. NOT SUZY!

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How many calories are in a bag of Fritos? 160 calories.

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A girl walked into a bar and sat next to a man. She asked what he was drinking. He said something that makes you fly. She didn't believe him. He then went up to the roof, jumped off and walked back in the front door. She got the drink then tried to jump off the roof, and died on impact. The bartender said to the man "You're a real asshole when you're drunk superman."

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What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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I have read and agree to the terms of midget sex service - View Terms of Service

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When life gives you AIDS! Make lemonAIDS!

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Listen Supervisor, this is Agent Clarke of the GOV and the WHO, I suggest you respond ASAP, I suggest you put set me in touch with either Lady, or Axel Knight right away, this is a matter of your personal security.

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A seal walks into a club.

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How do you stop someone from getting cancer? Kill them.

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What did the person say to the other person? "Hello."

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So, you got to take medications daily or die? Are you in pain my dear?

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Why did the man eat the apple? He had just witnessed a cow butchering and decided to become a vegitarian the moment he got home. He now lives in 1st degree depression because of what he saw 2 hours ago.

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2 guys walk into a bar but the third one has known about what happens to the third guy but since he is reading this in a newspaper and his unaware of his surroundings he walks into the bar anyway and feels very foolish.

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Q:why is steven balmont gonna beat up mr fatty goral A:because hes a fat czech Shout out to my mandem lewis hall&moses

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theres a straight guy, a gay guy ,and a jew the weird part is the straight guy hits on the jew and the gay guy which make the situation all akward.

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What do you call a fast black man with big muscles? A good source of minorities evolving.

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Why did the virgin masturbate until his hand was raw? He didn't have lotion.

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What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both can fly except for the mole

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What's worse than nailing 10 babies to one tree? nailing 1 baby to ten trees.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? To get to the other side!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was a turkey, idiot.

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It's good to be a scientist and great to be a biologist. However, it is never okay to be a scientologist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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