Why was the boy holding his breath? A man was holding his head under water.

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Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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Q: What happens when you divide by zero. A: You get a complex kind of infinite.

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What's pink, bubbly, and goes round and round? A baby in a microwave.

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Why did the farmer cross the road? To catch the chicken

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There once was a man from Nantucket, Who had an average-sized penis he only used during monogamous sex with his spouse.

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What did the mother say to her color blind son when he was about to take his first car ride alone after he got his license? Good luck

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What are the biggest ants in the world? Ants under a magnifying glass.

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What did the Mexican say to the Pirate? Can I have a pound for my bus, pal?

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What was going through the man's head on the 51st floor when the first plane hit? The 52nd floor.

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I woke up in bed with someone this morning. I forget why this is a joke, but your mother is a whore.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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what do u call a guy with 4 nipples? Hairy Styles

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What was little Sarah's last Words to johnny before he got hit by the bus??? Can i have your ice cream.

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There is a black guy a white guy and a Mexican, whose driving. The other black guy.

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Q. What does FIAT stand for? A. Frenzied Italian At Traffic-lights.

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What is worse than being lost in the supermarket? Being lost in space.

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What do I have in common with your mum? We're in the same bed right now.

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Q) How do you kill a blue elephant? A) Shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a pink elephant? A) Hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun. Q) How do you kill a white elephant? A) Tickle it until it turns pink, hold its trunk until it turns blue, then shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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what did the McDonald's cashier say to the fat man ordering a large chocolate milkshake? you want some fries with that shake?

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Q-What's the good thing about dating a girl volleyball player? A- She's a Girl

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What's green and has wheels? The White House. I lied about everything, I'm so sorry.

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Charlie Sheen

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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