Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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(waving left hand) Why doesn't Queen Elizabeth wave with this hand? Why? Because this is my hand.

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A man walked into a bar. He got a concussion and couldn't see strait for days.

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What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

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What's the difference between a hundred dead babies and a porsche? A porsche is a car.

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Why did Ant Man die? He was shot by a gangster, duh.

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

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Q: What's worse than finding out yor girlfriend is a guy? A: He had sex with your dad.

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How many times has Belle Ahern been hit in the mutt 76. Stupid slut

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Knock, Knock Come in

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My dad died on Mothers Day, my mother was happy. Actually Iied, we were all sad.

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So the word RAPING does not work unless you type it in caps? Raping... Did it censor? No? Never mind then... Wow, catchphra Never mind... Its a sign X-files theme.... Teleports at your house: Hah bitch never you ugly, or not ugly enough... Urgh, nevermind, I mean some ugly chicks know their stuff but you know... Anyway NeroMetal The sociopath not the fucking Cultist piece of shit that use my morals as a code system? YOU THINK WE THE SAME? EEEEEEH! Me raping you says we are not... And ill find you ;) Or your sister or your mom, I mean h0m0? You think im a pervert or something?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have schizophrenia, and so do I.

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Q: What's the worst part about having sex with a cougar? A: Dying...

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why does the man appear fat he is

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what did the man with Alzheimer's say to his son? who are you!?

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Coach walks into a bar and asks for a drink. The bartender says, i can't serve you. You aren't wearing pants. Coach says "put it on my bill."

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why do some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because they can be extreamly delishus and satisfying to eat. Why dont some people of all races enjoy American foods? Because then we would all be too big to fit on earth.

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education (and quite possibly from acquaintances or family members within the company that employs him, though it is often considered impolite to mention this latter fact, as it may be construed to denigrate the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study).

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How does a black guy in debt make money fast at the bank? He applies for a loan and conscientiously works hard to pay off the loan in turn, which he was lucky enough to get at a low interest rate.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? EMS - your pregnant wife died it a car crash

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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