Niall Horan

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why did the girl fall off the swings? -because she had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a black man flying an airplane? A pilot you racist S.O.B.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how many blondies were at the mall? none they were too busy trying to find the sun.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson are camping out. After they set up their tent and get inside to go to sleep, they look up at the stars. Holmes asks Watson to make a deduction. "Well, Holmes, I think it's highly probable that other planets outside our own, among those many stars up there, could have sentient life." Holmes points up and says, "Someone stole our tent, you idiot."

thumb_up thumb_down -28

My dog has no nose, how does it smell? Using its anus.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

thumb_up thumb_down -28

It is so hot out here, that it could melt an ice cube that was once in the freezer!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How do you wake up lady gaga? First you simply whisper in her ear telling her to wake up. If she doesn't, simultaneously whisper and tap her gently. If you have failed to achieve your accomplished goal, repeat step two however intensely touch her and project your voice when telling her to wake up. Step three, get a... WAIT WAIT!! I just waisted 20 seconds of your life, you're never going to meet her.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A shark ate your mom

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Why do Asian men love noodles? Noodles are delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A man walked into a bar.He woke up hours later and went home. By TheRealPaddock

thumb_up thumb_down -28

How does a black man have sex? He inserts his penis into his partners vagina, then slides it out, then inserts it back in, and repeats this motion untill he has reached his climax and ejaculates!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

A. Why did the boy cross the road? B. Why? A. I don't know! That's why I'm asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

haha women's rights.....what a joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

thumb_up thumb_down -28

roses are red violets are blue get to close to me ill have to give aids to you!

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

thumb_up thumb_down -28

what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

What's black and yellow and flies? I dont know.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops