You: Did u hear the one about that guy walking into a bar? Them: No. You: He said it hurt

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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knock knock who's there i am dead i am dead who i am just dead u idiot!!!!!

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What is faster? A bottle of milk or a sand-filled pin ball machine? A fighter jet, stupid!

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What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

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How do you know what to order at a Creole restaurant? Ask the waiter, they are usually familiar enough with the menu to make an educated recommendation.

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Q: How do you make a five year cry twice? A: There are many ways, as children are generally not that adept at controlling their emotions. Loud noises, threats of violence, images of scary monsters... those tend to work. Be sure to let them stop crying before making them cry again, otherwise you will have only made them cry once.

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Guy: I have a penis growing out of my crotch. Girl: Hah, sucks to be you! Guy: Yeah.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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a man walks into a bar. he gets a beer and talks to his friends. he then goes home.

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A black guy , a white guy and a jew walk into a resturaunt They are offered the special.

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A husband said to his wife, "If you want to have sex, stroke my penis one time. If you don't want to have sex, just say so and I will respect your decision, though I may be disappointed."

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga in the morning You poke her face

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Felix? The Lucky cat? That is the only thing that comes to mind, I am dead tired, but I really don't mind staying up until I cant anymore physically, as for mentally I am getting pretty bad as for company.

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How did the blonde girl get pregnant? Sperm enters their vagina and fertilizes an egg cell causing a child to be conceived.

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what happens when a migit and a horse have sex..... probably nothing

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Why did the black guy drink the kool aid? Because there was a glass of kool aid next to him and he was thirsty.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs, consdiering as disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion)

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Roses are red violets are blue What the heck do flowers Have to do with You?

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Q: Why did Susie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one. Any more than that and they would just be getting in each others way.

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i committed murder

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Statistically, 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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