What do you do when life gives you lemons? Kindly reject the offer and give it back to life.

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A magician was driving down the road and turned into a driveway...

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A family walks into a talent agent's office. They do a cute family-friendly performance that they call "The Aristocrats."

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What do a chicken and a grape have in comon? - They're both purple, except for the chicken.

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Whats the difference between anti-jokes and regular jokes? A Fridge full of dead babies being thrown at a black man with no arms or legs swinging from a tree.

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Knock Knock there's a doorbell

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Two peanuts were walking down the street..........pepper.

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A german police officer sees a Rabbi. Nothing happens, it's 2011

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Once there was a pig named Poga. When he grew up, he was slaughtered and made into bacon.

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Hey look i just made a jo... shit.

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i remember when i was a child i wanted a skateboard but my parents would never buy me one so late one night i crept downstairs and got a hammer and some wood and i beat them to death my foster parents baught me 5 skateboards

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Why did the boy fall of his bike? He's learning to ride and understandably lost his balance.

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Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's. Hi my name is Bob and I have Alzheimer's.

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Roses are Red Violets are blue I am an onlince predator Post your address in the comment EJ

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what do you call a man with no arms no legs cancer and down syndrome? you call him stephen because his name is stephen

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a duck walks onto a basketball court during a game. The referee sees the bird and blows his whistle crying fowl just as the player was running up to dunk. The confused bird flies away and the referee gets punched by the angry player.

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Whats worse than a baby stapled to a tree? Holocaust

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Why can't Timmy go on any rollercoasters? Because he's morbidly obese and it would a safety hazard.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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what did the super popular, beautiful girl say to her stalker? i dont know, i wasnt the stalker.

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What do you call a bunch of white men sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What do you call a person with cancer A hospital patient, what did you expect? Oh. Of course you expected Chewbacca.

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Why did the man cry himself to sleep at night? Because the doctors gave him 3 months to live.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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