What is green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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Why did the man die? He had a heart attack.

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Why did Timmy masticate in front of everyone at the dinner table? If he hadn't, he would have choked on large chunks of food.

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what has genitial warts? me

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Roses are red Violets are blue Why do the following sentences never have anything to do with the roses and violets?

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What's the difference between a convertible and a dead baby? One's in my garage, and one's a car.

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What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

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Q - What do you call a bunch of white people on a bench? A - The nba - Cool Bean

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? If the socket were 20 feet in the air, it might take 4 blondes with really good balance. Then again, it might not matter how many blondes there are because there are no replacement light bulbs, the don't have transportation, and the nearest store is 10 miles away. In conclusion, I would say that the number of blondes it takes to screw in a light bulb is dependent on the individual situation at hand.

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What would George Washington say if he were alive? "Help! im stuck in a coffin!"

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A mormon walks into a bar. The Bartender says "What can I get you" The Mormon says "Sparkling Water please. In my religion we don't drink alcohol."

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What`s the difference between a dead baby and a pencil? I don`t keep a pencil in my backpack

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Who won the championship last year? There was no championship

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Theres a blonde and a brunette at a party. The redhead is left out because she has no soul.

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What do you call a house big enough to fit all the poor people in America? A fairly large establishment without quality standards.

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What did the Irish nun say on her deathbed? "I now realize that smoking was an unhealthy habit and I regret that I made the choice to do so." Then she died

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knock , knock That Was The Same Mistake That Ann Frank Made.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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Knock Knock Nobody Nobody who? Nobody, did you not hear what I just said.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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How do you minimize the likelihood of theft? Take the derivative.

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who do you call when you see a ghost in your apartment? The Mental Hospital.

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What did the frat guy drink after he lifted? A various assortment of beverages that were chilled at a cool 66 degrees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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