whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? the pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven. By darragh Hamilton

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Two trains, each having a speed of 30km/h, are headed at each other on the same straight track. A bird that can fly 60km/h flies off the front of one train when they are 60km apart and heads directly for the other train. After reaching the other train, the bird flies directly back to the first train, and so forth. What is the total distance the bird travels before the train collide? Who cares about the bird if two trains are going to collide? You need to call this in immediately.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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What is the similarity between an elephant and a grape? Absolutely nothing. One is an animal, while the other is a fruit.

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What the small boy with no arms or legs get fro christmas???? cancer

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Why was the boy cold? Because he couldn't afford clothing.

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A baby tastes grapefruit juice for the first time. She is allergic and immediately begins convulsing and dies.

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Where did little susie go during the explosion? Everywhere :) What color were her eyes? Blue. One blew this way and one blew the other way. :p Knock, knock Who's there? Not susie :)

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Proof that the Chicken came first than the Egg is all in the good book. It's called, The Dictionary!

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Two elephants were in a bathtub. One elephant asks the other "pass the soap?" The other elephant passes him the soap and they continue with their bath.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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A teenager walked into a bar. A drunk man got angry and beat him to death with a club.

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What's green and black? Grass with wheels.

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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Old McDonald had a farm. He grew corn there, and got reasonably wealthy. Then he retired to the Bahamas.

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YOUR MUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Q-if you are what you eat ,does that make you cannibal? A- yes

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What is veiny, turns hard, and has a tip at the end? The male genitalia used as a reproductive organ mainly in sexual intercourse known as a Penis.

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What do you call a man with an eight foot steel spike wedged in his rectum? An Ambulance

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? -Because he didn't have any arms!

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Why was the asian boy abused? He got an B in math

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what did the boy with cancer get for Christmas a pair of shoes

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a naked man walks into a bar the police arrived 10 minutes

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What is worse-losing your phone or failing school? Apartheid

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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