- Anti Joke

A black guy, a jew, and an asian walk into a bar, have a beer each, and then leave, because they have high-paying jobs and don't want to risk getting DUIs.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

you know whats not funny white boards.

getting a call from the hospital saying that your whole entire family was all killed in an explosion and they were killed from your best friend.

What did the terrorist do to the small village? Destroy it with a bomb vest.

A black man is trapped inside a bottle, how does he get out? He doesn't it is simply impossible for a human to get trapped inside a bottle.

What's the difference between a grape and a duck? They're both purple, apart from the duck.

Why did the boy fall off of the swing? Because he had no arms

Did you know that all of the seasons are named after coils of metal? Except Winter... And Autum... And Summer...

What's the difference between Amy Winehouse and Michael Jackson? Spelling.

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb? Look. I just enjoy a few drinks every now and then. I mean, I can quit whenever I want to. That's no reason to start people calling names.. Wait, no. That's not.. Look. How much do you drink every day, huh? Why not ask that? And why do I have to be the one changing your stupid light bulb? If it's sooooo important that the light bulb be changed, do it yourself, you lazy bastard. Don't rely on other people to do your work for you.

What's the difference between The Hulk and The Thing? One is green.

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

My Texting Convos: "Heyy!" "Hi!" "Watz up?" "nm hbu?" "Same here!" "Koolio!(: So wrud?" "Nothing. Just texting you!" "Yea! Same! I'm so bored! And tired!" "Ikr!" "Yupp!" No one answers. When this is what you really want: "I love you soooo much!" "Awwwwh!<3 I loe you too!" "Do you wanna go out?(;" "YES!!(:" "ily<3" "iyl2<3" convo goes on forever(: Moral: Purple tomatoes are books of yellow buttons on hands(;

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

When life gives you lemons you squirt them in someones eyes and steal what life gave them.

A man walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender then lights him on fire.

Roses are red Violets are blue If you are reading this Then it must be deja vu

Roses are red the grass is green now open your legs and let me fill you with cream

Roses are red, yup.

What's black, white and red all over? A race war