A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

In Soviet Russia, you drive the car, fill it up with gas, and park it. Just like in America.

Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

Why was the chubby bird that you were staring at you angry. Because you were looking at him.

what do u call a black guy who sells drugs a pharmacist

Things i like to do when im bored; chase after ostriches take major dumps masturbate give myself major erections EJ

What is the funniest shirt Emil heskey has ever worn? A shirt that had this joke on it

A black man and a white man were on an island. They lived in England.

A boy walked in on his mom and dad in their bedroom last night they were having a leisurely evening playing scrabble

What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? dead parents.

What did the black man say to the Jew? Hi.

What do you call a a chinese abortion? My dinner

whats the difference between a Jew and a piece of pizza? pizza doesn't scream when its in the oven.

Why is Tommy dead? Because he died.

What's more boring than watching grass grow? Watching grass not grow.

Little Timmy walks into an ice-cream store. He dies on impact.

A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

Who let the dogs out? The burglar, he broke the door and they ran out.

Q. How many infants does it take to paint a wall? A. Depends how hard you throw them...

what do you call a black man, white man, mexican, irishman, indian, and chinese man being hung at the same time? -a racially diverse pirate crew

-What's sad about four black guys driving off a cliff? -They were my friends.

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

Why did Jimmy pass out Cause he drank a full tallboy

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side. Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapeled to the chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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