a naked man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out because you must have shoes and a shirt to be served

What's up? Your time.

Knock knock. Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad your whole family isn't dead from a fatal car accident?

Mum did you make my milkshake? No, I didn't son, but your father did. Fther's dead. I know.

how many black people are... wait stereotypical jokes are for fags

thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was shot.

How many people with Alzheimer's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

What's worse than putting stones in a blender? Putting a baby in a blender.

Q:Why did the kid drop his ice cream A:He was hit by a car

What did the poor family eat for thanksgiving? Food

What did the computer say to the mouse? Nothing inanimate objects cant talk

Evil Witch: Hey Snow White, want an apple. Snow White: No thank you, I just ate, I'm good. Evil Witch: But its good! Snow White: No thanks, I'm good! Evil Witch: Ill put caramel on it!! Snow White: NO THANKS! Evil Witch: FINE!! The Evil Witch then pulled out an AK - 47 and violently murdered Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.

Dog walks into a bar Asked for a hard cider Got it

knock knock whose there? penis penis who? penis want vagina

A: Knock Knock B: (No Reply) Nobody is home and the man trying to get in will come back later and try again.

When life gives you lemons, chuck them at someone's face!

roses are red, violets are blue, i have alzheimers, cheese on toast.

you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

A guy walks up to a girl and says: " hey can I have your number so i can text you later?" she says " no" he says " why ?" she says" guess" He says " look if you don't like me thats okay, " he gets up and walks away, turns out she doesn't have a cell phone, she was gonna give him her house number to call.

- have you heard about the guy who got the left side off the body cut off? - no. - He died

Roses are blurred Violets too I have astigmatism I cant see shit

Whats the difference between a duck? Both legs are of the same length. Especially the left one.

Here's a riddle... A cowboy rides into town on saturday, stays for three days, and leaves on saturday... How does he do it? Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... Well, you see he is a time bending magician who usually lives on a farm on Mars with his family of magicians. He is not really a cowboy but dresses like one to be like everyone else. He is heavily affected by peer pressure and has done a lot of dumb things just to impress his partners. His partners are big bullies and they have trouble being nice to Jimmy (The time-bending, space-living, cowboy-impersonating martian). His partners names are Bob and George. Oh right... I'm trailing off... OH... I'M DONE NOW...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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