Why didn't the man go to work on Friday the 13th? Because he was unemployed.

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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Would you like to go to my jinga party, if you do save the date 9/11?

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Roses are red,Lemons are sour,Open your legs and give me an hour.

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What's up with airplane food? Not sure, but last flight I was on they didn't serve any food. It could have been because it was too short of a flight or perhaps the recessed economy caused jetliners to cut costs. Either way, I didn't get a bag of peanuts.

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How do you stop an aboriginal from drowning? Take your foot off his head...

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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I am a mime

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's the difference between Newt Gingrich's cat and a hand grenade? Gingrich's cat is a domesticated quadriped mammal, a hand grenade is a small bomb that can be thrown by hand

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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What did one saggy boob say to the other one? Better perk up or they'll think we're nuts.

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Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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the nintendo 3ds is being released this week. its the first 3d portable gaming device that doesnt require glasses, also known as a ball...

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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Robin, get in the car!

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The Lord said to John: "Go forth and receive eternal life" But John went fifth... So he won a toaster

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops