Chuck Norris once round-house kicked someone so hard that he broke his leg.

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kk

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what smells like tuna? my underwear

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? 9,405 licks (this may not be reliable I lost count since I kinda just bit it)

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There is my brain said the English man stop leaving it in the fridge and let me mug you now get in the car OK!

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What do you get when you skin a potato? A screaming kid with autism and no skin.

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for christmas? Cancer..... Just Kidding! He got a bike!

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Man: Knock knock Man 2: who's there Alzheimer's patient: to get to the other side!

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Q.Whats the differents between justin bieber and a girl A.Nothing

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Knock Knock! Who's there? My arm! My arm who? My arm is everywhere!

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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there once was a little boy who lived in a little house with his little parents who ate little food. one day the boy went on a website called antijokes and he started to read a joke, by the time he had gotten to the end of the joke he realized that there was no punchline but it was very lenghty and quite pointless.

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Your mom is so nce that when you got into college she taught you to be more independent so you could succeed later in life.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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why do people take pictures in the bathroom? because they just got done taking a crap and they wanna see if they lost weight.

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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why was the boy crying? cause an elephant tusked him up the ass

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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a dog jumping up and catching a frisbi

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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How often does the lesbian vampire group meet up? Never. Lesbians don't exist.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who pooped in my garden?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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