A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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poopy is poopy

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Next time someone says "I have mad money"... Say "whys it mad"

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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why did the blonde fall down a mineshaft? Beacuse the rapist needed somewhere to hide the body

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Gary: Stick your tongue out and say "I live in a pirate ship" Bruce: *sticks tongue out* "I lib inna pile of shiiit."

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Jokes=Funny Anti=Opposite Anti+Joke=Anti Joke Anti Joke= Anti Humour Anti Humour + People= Offensive Jokes Offensive Jokes= Often jokes about women Offensive Jokes=Problems Women=Problems

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Man 1- What's red, black, and white all over? Man 2- What? Man 1- Half a penguin! Man 2 became seriously disturbed from this joke, as he saw the movie Happy Feet two days ago. He went to intense therapy and became mentally deranged.

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justin bieber over spongebob *snicker*

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how many dead babies can you fit into a bath tub i dont know i didnt get the chance to fill it up yet

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why did the irishman need plastic surgery? because after the bear attack where there used to be a face there is now a gap

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How do you solve a scatter plot? Give a pencil to Michael J. Fox.

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What do Barbra Streisand and Danny Glover have in common? Nothing.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Tourette's, Cheese on toast.

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A bar walked into a bar. Bars can't walk.

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Q:What's similar between a squirel and a eagle? A:Both have wings, exept for the squirrel.

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What did steve do when jane asked him for a pencil? He gave her one.

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Knock Knock. Who`s there? Hadooouuuuuuu! Hadou who? KEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN! PERFECT!!! Perfect Bonus: 38493483948394839483984 Skill 0000000 Your life 0 Bonus 9001

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Wow Nero, you never explained the process, its like I am at the ocean again, but dont lie, you still fear showers... Sorry its just not you when you lie to me, I know I should be more concerned about you, ill bring those old stuff, im tired, sleepy, I suppose thats your work huh Nero? Thanks, call it as a brother or what you want, but I really love you and wont ever stop doing so. Goodnight Nerochan, promise me you will take care of yourself, we all got a long life ahead of us, and I want to spend more time with you, if its fine for you and your wife.

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I am a mime

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A man is eating in a restaurant and says, "Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!" The waiter says, "I'm sorry, can I bring you some salad instead?"

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Whats the best things about 25 year olds? Theres 20 of them.

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Robin, get in the car!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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