What did the black kid get on his report card? Math: C- English: D+ Social Studies: C+ Gym:A+ Science: D- N.P.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What does a spider Pig do? Nothing. They dont exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What can kill you when it falls out of a tree? Anything of a considerable weight actually.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What long black and tasty? Licorice

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What the difference between a car and a dead child I dont have a car in the basement

thumb_up thumb_down +18

who is gay wit mon james cornish

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A little boy was walking down the street when a strange looking van stopped next to him and the man driving asked the little boy where he lived, where his mother was, and if he wanted a puppy because he had some in the back seat.... The boy proceeded to enter the van. The man then handed the child a puppy and promptly drove the boy home.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's green and eats nuts? Syphilis.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What can be smooth but also rough? Endoplasmic Reticulum

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Where did the RICH black man go to? His home

thumb_up thumb_down +18

knock knock WHO'S THERE?! ARE YOU A SEX CRIMINAL?! NO ONE WANTS TO DO THAT TO YOU MUM!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: The girl fell for the guy, but the guy was sad about it, why? A: Because she fell off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did one alligator say to the other alligator? Ear

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: What did the fish say when it swam into a concrete wall? A: Fish don't have vocal cords that allow them to speak in a way discernable by humans, and if they did, it would just sound garbled and bubbly due to their being underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If life hands you melons. Your probably dyslectic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the man dying of cancer want for his birthday? To live.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a man walks into a bar. it was a metal bar. his balls hurt.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q:What's colorful and waves like a flag? A: A flag.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You know what I'm thinking of right now? Eyebrows

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops