You know what's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile where one's alive in the middle, and has to eat his way out.

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A black man, a chinese man, and a dog decide to have a race. Unfortunately, they are shot by a sniper on a roof while still in the planning stages.

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What does the fox say? "It's called a hustle, sweetheart."

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"New season of Dr.Phil. How does that make you feel?" ANGERY!!!!!

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A whole 'nother.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass, I lied about the wheels.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, This one doesn't.

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What do you call a black man driving an airplane? A pilot.

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Q: If Ann has 5 apples and she gives Michael 2 apples, and then Jason comes and rapes Ann. How many apples does Ann have left? R: Who the hell cares, she needs to go to the police.

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What did the chubby, dirty, hobo get for Christmas? Cancer

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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What's the difference between a volleyball and a tree? They're both volleyballs except for the tree.

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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Two gophers are in a tank One of them says how the heck do you drive this thing?

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Whats the difference between a boy scout and a jew? A boy scout gets to come home after camp.

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Why did the pengoon cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken

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What do two zebras look like next to each other? Two zebras

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What did Adam Sandler get for Christmas? Nothing, he's Jewish.

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What do you say if you wake up and see your television floating around at night? Say,"I should probably get to sleep. This is probably an effect of sleep deprivation."

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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Listen Nero, you are the only one I suspect right now, how do you know all of this? Why should I believe you?!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops