Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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What's better than "Friday" by Rebecca Black? Hitler's kill/death ratio

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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Why was the penguin popular? He cuts himself.

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Why didn't the boy go to the bathroom? His mother was taking a well deserved bath.

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Is this your pen? I wanna go to school, bye!

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Two Mexicans were sitting in the back of a car. They were carpooling to save gas.

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A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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what did the history teacher say to his class? Get your books out.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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Why is Joel always with Jamie? Because her incorrectly positioned eyes prevent her from seeing the true Joel.

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The last person on Earth is sitting home alone when suddenly there is a knock at the door. Knock knock Who's there? *silence* Damn this joke got creepy...

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How did the hot blonde get a promotion from her boss? She worked really hard and achieved more thaan her coworkers.

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I don't drink. I'm not 21.

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i know the best knock knock joke! you start! other person: knock knock me: whos there ........

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Why did the elephant cross the road? Indiana Jones was riding on it to Pankot Palace

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How many like does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop? As many as it takes.

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There is a horse sitting at a bar, and the bartender says MOTHER OF GOD!! What is this horse doing in here?!

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Two frogs go to the bar only to leave because frogs can't open up doors.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Two fish in a tank one said "How do you drive this thing?"

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You might not notice at first, but in this very sentence there is a psychological phrase that is used to hypnotise you. If you read through the first sentence of this paragraph three or four times, you may start to feel the sudden urge to have a drink. This is called the ashvakalym effect.

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roses are red violets are blue count my five damn finger , and the third one is for you!!!!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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