Knock knock. Who's there? Never mind that. I have a gun and your child. Come out with all your valuables and he won't get hurt.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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Why does an ostrich have such a long neck? Because its head is so far from its body.

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why do jewish people have big noses? because air is free

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What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

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One day an irishman walked into a bar. he started to show off his accent when a nicely dressed lady said to him, "are you from ireland?". "AYE" said the irshman. " what part of ireland are you from?" drunk, the irishman replied "uh downtown" then the woman said, " did you come here alone?" then he replied"no i didn't come here a'lone.....DONKEY!!!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because earlier that day, the chicken was taking a shiit, and when he went to wipe, there was no toilet tissue, so he ran upstairs to his parents room, and shot them both with a shotgun, then he ate them while they were still gasping for air, then the neighbors heard the gunshots so they came over to make sure everything was alright, but little did they know that the chicken planned for it and they were electricuted to a crisp by the fence, oh yeah, why did the chicken cross the road? Because the store for chips was across the street

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What do you call an anti joke that's not funny? Non-existent.

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what are you talking about. Nets are terrible. Lakers are going to be the best.

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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Why was the phone wearing glasses? It lost its contacts!

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How do you remind your kids of family? You brand them with the family crest.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? It passed away in its sleep.

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Why was the boy crying? he was so happy his mom bought him a playstation 3

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why did joe diragi cross the road there was food on the other side

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A man was shot. He died.

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What's so funny about Mexicans? Nothing. They're all humans too.

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What did Hitler get his son for Christmas? An Ez-bake oven and a GI Jew

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A man and a woman meet on a roof, fall in love and get married. The ceremony was rubbish but the reception was brilliant

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What's the best time to go to the dentist? Whenever your appointment is scheduled.

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roses are red, violets are blue, dandelions are yellow, tulips are pink, sunflowers are black and yellow, my dick is 13 inches long.

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I'm a Banker. A woman asked if I could check her balance... So I pushed her off a cliff.

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what did the boy say to the alien? ET i will protect you. The alien slaps him for being stupid

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a cancer patient walks into a bar and has a stroke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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