What did the wizard say to the man? Wizards aren't real. Thus not able to speak.

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why did the chicken cross the road? IDGAC

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Why was the giant centipede full? Because it just ate half a dozen purebred golden retriever puppies by hiding all day in the poopy newspapers and emerging at night to eat the defenseless baby dogs in their sleep. BUM BUM BUM KSSSH!

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What did God do to help the little girl with terminal cancer? Nothing, God doesn't exist.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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NO! I'm putting it in my front room, you sick bastard!

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Here isa poem from a dog Roses are gray violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

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Knock Knock Who's there? Banana Oh good I thought you wouldn't make it.

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Knock! Knock! Who's there? Russel. Russell who? Russell Johnson. Oh, come in.

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Why did the girl scream at old people? She had turrets. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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Yo momma's so fat that when she asked the doctor, he said she could have such bad cardiovascular problems if yo mamma keep the typical sedentary habits, wich consist in a diet with a lots of fat and sugar, the lack of physical exercise and genetical characterists which make a person get fatter more easily.

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Once a upon a midnight haven. Along came a cow name Mr. Maven. For they say the cow was very lucky. But oh what a day for something very mucky. Oh ye the coming of Mr. Maven and his milk. And for every cereal there will be silk. But wait isn't Mr. Maven a guy? How can you milk him even if you try? I don't know, just sounds cool.

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why did andy wake up this morning. because he wasnt tired anymore

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Why couldn't the blond dial 911? She lost her arms in a tragic car accident last year

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A Jew walks into a bar. He immediately turns around and walks out because prices at this particular high end bar are much too high for his liking.

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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Why didn't the little boy have a good time at his birthday party? Because his friends lit him on fire.

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roses are grey violets are grey i am a dog woof woof

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Have you ever tried grabbing a bottle of 7-up free and walked away with it? Moral: If it says its free, its free ffs!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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What's black and white and red all over? A penuin that got bit by a sea lion.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because they taste funny.

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a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops